.

The question has come up maybe three times in the past couple of days: Have I caved and joined Facebook yet? It usually comes up every once and awhile, and I laugh and say that yeah, I'll probably will by the end of the week-- Why? Because I'm an internet fad whore. Up until now, I really didn't seem to find much of a purpose in having one... Then, of course, the idea struck that it's probably the most efficient way to keep in touch with all of my classmates up here... and keeping in touch is obviously a good thing, just in case any of my buddies go off and get jobs here and there-- Because, after all, the industry is almost entirely based on who you know. (...I had a very similar reason to join Myspace last year, and that, for the most part, has served me very well.)

So, I caved. I went back to Facebook and re-joined. I actually went so far as to upload a picture before I went and deleted it again.

I guess I like the idea of being that kid who's still too cool for Facebook. Maybe I'll check it out again when I figure out what the hell the big deal is. Now I'm off to go check my Myspace comments-- because I'm a dirty, dirty whore.

So, I pretty much have a month and a half left of school. I have a couple of classes left that I might be able to sap a little bit of information from, but, let's face it-- I've pretty much got all that I'm going to get out of the program. The question that comes up now is... Now what? Yes, I'm just going to go back to school, and get a fucking piece of paper in this or that-- But, I know that if I wait too long, I'm pretty much just going to consider this whole idea a pipe dream, and forget about it.

So, Zach and I were talking at lunch today-- and I think that there are a few options. Unfortunately, there isn't exactly an address that you can just send a finished script to, and let that be that. There's a little bit more effort involved in even getting someone to take a look at your shit. I figure, if this draft of 'Abandon' goes my way, and doesn't totally suck-- I'll probably head down to Florida for a week or two, and do up a second draft. I'll do a couple more if necessary-- show it to whoever's willing to give me feedback.. Then ship it off to a couple of contests, or something. (Abandon is too big to get optioned by anyone anyway-- It'll only really manage to be a sample piece at best, probably.)

At the same time, I think I'm going to try to get something going at home. As Zach pointed out, we live in a fucking day and age where pretty much anyone can put a fucking movie together... We've tried giving it a shot before, but, I'd want to take something a bit more seriously, this time. The script would be put together LONG before anyone is casted, or anything along those lines-- I'd want someone else to direct, and I'd want to avoid being on camera if at all possible (...of course, depending on how many people we have available-- I probably will have to show up in there somewhere.) It'd be small as fuck, as FEW exterior locations as possible, all original music, no logo'd t-shirts-- the whole fucking shebang.

That's going to be a lot of work, but, hopefully worthwhile. I would want to put some shorts together beforehand-- so everyone could figure out what they fuck they were doing before filming.

It's a long way away, though-- As I don't even have a fucking story.

Eh. We'll see what happens.

Yeah, about my previous entry-- A whole lot of stress, a whole lot of pressure, frustration, and all that fun shit kind of just hit me within the span of a couple of hours, and it didn't bode well on my mind. I'm fine, I'm not going to kill myself, or anything. I think I just need to fucking chill out for awhile, or something.

So, as you've probably noticed, I'm rocking a new banner (again). I feel completely terrible, because Allison made me an excellent one only a couple of days ago. She has every right to hate me, and kick me in the balls-- I just kind of got hit with some inspiration, and was really happy with how it came out. Sorrysorrysorry. I might be switching them in and out from time to time, just to keep shit interesting. You all know me, I get bored of shit way too easily. Dave can hate me too, if he wants-- But, he shouldn't hate me near as much, because I'm at least using his incredibly awesome Dillon concept drawing. Come on, aside from the lighter hair color, that is the fucking cartoon me.

So, I went out and saw 'Live Free or Die Hard' this afternoon with the usuals.. First off, some of the shit that happens in the movie is absolutely god damn preposterous. McClane should have been dead at least three times, ten minutes into the damn flick. But aside the twisted logic, however, it was probably one of the best, most entertaining films I've seen (and will see) all summer. It's got some great performances, fucking crazy intense action sequences-- and most importantly, that dry 'Die Hard' wit.  It DOES suffer a little from the PG-13 rating, but the damage is fairly minimal. The most notable is that they cut off the 'motherfucker' -- which seemed just god damn unnecessary. The fucking studio, man. What are you going to do, right? The best of the 'Die Hard's 'Live Free' is not-- But, it's up there. It's way up there.

My grandmother is sick again. She's been fighting cancer for the last couple of years, and we finally thought that there was going to be a break in the action. I guess that the doctors found something growing on her liver, and she's going to need to go through another round of chemotherapy before they can surgically remove it. That's pretty brutal, considering what this woman has already been through-- So, I'm hoping that everything turns out all right. My mom's been after me to send her an e-mail... I'll get around to it, I'm just not sure what I'm going to say yet. If you have a god, and want to ask them to stop being asshole for like, ten seconds, I'd appreciate it. The rest of you, if you could just keep her in your thoughts-- I'd dig that a lot as well. We'll see what happens, I guess.

I kind of have a lot on my plate right now, and I really have no idea what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing. It feels kind of like I've lost control of everything... and as I've said several times now, I'm really ready to come home now.

Maybe this lifestyle really isn't for me.

I had a pretty decent entry written for tonight, but, you can add me losing it in a computer crash to my list of fucking annoyances for this evening. Tonight's just been one fucking pain in the ass after another-- And of course, just when one thing starts to piss me off, something else comes in to fucking test my patience even further. It's one of those nights where not a single god damn fucking thing can go my way, and it feels like the whole fucking world is laughing at you because of it. I'm fucking sick of it. Ha ha, Brian's being emo-- Shove it up your fucking ass.

Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everything.

Fuck, what a dull weekend.

I pretty much didn't get anything accomplished, and have been putting everything that I have to do off. I'm getting pretty much frustrated everything, and don't know what to do with myself.

Cabin Fever, or something. I need to take a walk.

There's something really fucked up going on with my heart... and no, I don't mean that in an emo way. I mean, like, it's literally been hurting the past couple of days. Just, at random times, for a random length of time. Last night, it was so bad, the thought of hitting the hospital crossed my mind more than once. I haven't had an energy drink in over a week, or so-- So, I have no idea what's going on, but, it sucks.

Yeah, that's about it, though. There's really been nothing going on the past couple of days.

I'm really fucking ready to go home.

Fuck me, what a week.

As I said in my last entry, I've spent all week in Writer/Actor collaboration. I still maintain that it was an interesting, and relatively rewarding experience-- But, man, was it ever a bitch. It was a lot of long hours, a lot of crashing egos, nights of zero sleep, tears, blood, sweat, and plenty of coffee breaks.

The product of which was "Rose Walls" -- A twenty minute, one-act comedy about friendship, unrequited love, and drinking piss. Oh man, was there a lot of dirty talk.

That was Michael Robinson, my instructor's, main note. Make it raunchier. Go for the shock, make it absolutely sexually explicit as possible. There's a line in there about golden showers? Punch it up, and talk about a specific time she peed in some guy's mouth... oh, and add in that he came in his pants afterward. Keep going, farther, farther, push the boundaries. Dirtier. Damn it, get this as fucking nasty as possible. (Keep in mind, however, this man has a role in Uwe Boll's upcoming 'Postal' -- which instantly makes me lose respect for him as a human being.)

So, by Thursday, I had a script together. It made me laugh, but then again, I'm a huge fan of low-brow humor. That morning, the three actors performed it in front of the rest of the class for the first time.

...'Oh my god,' I'm thinking. 'This is so fucking dirty.'

The class seemed to agree. The entire twenty-two minutes was complete, dead, absolute silence. Not even a fucking pity laugh. By the end, they were fucking horrified.

I've marked it down as one of the worst moments of my entire life.

So, of course, this called for an emergency rewrite. I spent the rest of the day trying to tone the whole thing down, removing all of the dirty talk, and replacing it with more suggestion. Of course, what happens when you take the shock value out of a script that RELIES on cheap shock laughs? An even shittier script than you had before. 

...Because Friday morning's run through was even worse than Thursdays. People didn't even pay attention, just giving up on it a few minutes in. After it was over, the actress literally went off on me in front of everyone-- claiming that script was just too gross, and that she didn't want to do it anymore.

I spent that afternoon pretty much destroyed. My writing has taken some pretty big beat-downs in the past-- But, this was a mother fucking extermination. Robinson defended me a bit, claiming that seventy percent of the problem was in the performances-- Which made me feel a little better, I guess. But it's still kind of hard to recover from an earth shattering knock out like that one.

So, ideas began bouncing. We had a three o'clock deadline, which meant that we had no time to try and do another rewrite-- So, improving the performances was about all we were able to do.

By three o'clock, when it was performed again, the actors had their energy up a bit more-- and the run went MUCH smoother, with VERY minimal changes to the fifth draft. It wasn't the best out of the ones that were run, but, we still managed a couple of laughs here and there.

I can deal with that.

It gets performed in front of an audience in a few weeks. I'm nervous, but, I'm hoping that the whole 'laughter is contagious' thing will take effect.

I'm just glad my awkward clitoris rant got significantly trimmed. That's one ODD chunk of dialogue.

* As you can see, we're rocking the black scheme again. A little easier on the eyes, isn't it?

It's a good experience, but it's very very draining. Class was supposed to go from nine 'til twelve-- We didn't get out until four o'clock. Add in the time it took to transcribe the improvisations, and the actual time it took to morph it all into a script, the process pretty much took all day.

And now I get to go to bed, wake up, and do it all over again. We'll see how it goes, but, I wouldn't expect many updates over the next couple of days. Thank Christ it's only a week, though.

...Random note, I spilled green tea on my chest, and now I have this massive burn mark that hurts like a mother fucker. Remember kids, be careful with hot liquids.

Sorry if anyone was caught off guard by the sudden whiteness. I would have preferred to keep it black-- But, I really wanted this three column layout, and white was all it came in. Oh well, no big deal, really. I'm still playing around with all the widgets on the sidebars, though. I'm carrying over my Last.fm board, and my YouTube highlights (though I need to find a better size for the videos)... but, that's about it. I'm pretty sure no one took interest in my shared RSS, so, that's gone.

I'm going to put Dave's banner back when I figure out how to get rid of the current one from the HTML. It shouldn't be that hard, I'm just too lazy right now. It'll show up sometime within the week.

Expect shit to be flipping around as I try and figure all out where I like it.

Eh. The party was lame. But, that might have something to do with how awkward I get in social situations with people I'm not entirely comfortable with.

And as much as I USUALLY want to fucking kick Little Josh in the face-- I wanted to do it ten times more today, after getting stuck next to his drunk ass in the back of a cab heading home. Christ, I can't fucking stand that kid.

There were a couple laughs, though. Our ridiculous attempt at a soccer game was pretty amusing, though it really drove the point home that I really don't belong trying to take part in any sort of sporting activity. The beerclipse in the fridge made me laugh. And the improvised Aaron Buchcowski song was a riot (...and sadly, wasn't recorded.) That was about it, though.

Oh well. It wasn't like I had anything better to do today. At least now I know for sure that I'm really not going to be missing anything when I don't go to the next one.

Eh. I didn't go to bed last night, so, practically ready to pass out. I'm just going to finish a couple things and hit the fucking sack.

"STEP ONE: Change your relationship status to 'Swinger'.

STEP TWO: Get a bunch of pictures of you with pretty girls and caption them in a mildly flirtatious manner.

...We will make HER jealous."

From the third episode of "We Need Girlfriends" that had Zach and I laughing pretty hard. I give the series a pretty high recommendation-- as it's one of the few internet series that are actually worth your time. The first episode is on my sidebar. Check it out. It's only five or so minutes, it won't kill you.

Speaking of Myspace... (...and if you don't know where the mention of Myspace came up, you clearly haven't watched episode three of "We Need Girlfriends" yet. Shame on you. Okay, that's enough pimping for one entry.) ...has anyone else noticed the "True" dating site ads that they've got up there now? The fake IM with the attractive chicks on "cam" typing and giggling? ...Does anyone actually fall for that? Are there really any dumb fucks logging on to myspace who are just like: HOLY SHIT. THIS MODEL IS FUCKING TALKING TO ME. OMIGOD. QUICK. TYPE 'SHOW ME UR TITS PLZ'. ...Well, obviously the advertising division of "True" thinks there are, otherwise, why would they make the ads? Of course, the chicks who would USE "True" probably don't look a thing LIKE that... Otherwise, why would they need to use a dating site? Fuck, I hate the internet.

Speaking of hate... Spell check is kind of annoying. I use a lot of variations of the word 'fuck'-- and I don't have the patience to add them all to my dictionary. Now I'm stuck looking at the red squiggly line under "fucknuggets", "fuckbagles", and "fuckernutter". I hate that damn line. I HATE it. And considering how many times I write "fuck" in any given sentence, I have to look at the a lot. Fuck, I hate words.

So, today was kind of odd. I woke up around one thirty, two o'clock, and spent nearly the entire day on the internet. I hit a rough patch going into the evening, but, I'm hoping that's going to smooth over tomorrow. Then I went out to dinner with Zach (with an eventual guest appearance from Brooks) and chilled for a little while. I don't know, it's getting pretty late, but, I'm not quite ready to go to bed yet. It's because I got up so damn late. Oh well.

Eh, so, I'm breaking my "Fuck Parties" policy tomorrow and heading to one at the Blue House. I hate parties up here. A lot. The one or two that I've been to, everyone just gets drunk as fucking hell, and I end up having to explain to them for three or four times that I don't drink. Why I don't drink. And how they aren't getting me to drink.

It's literally the only topic of conversation. Ever. It gets old. Really fucking quick.

With that said, I have no idea why I'm going to this one. I have nothing better to do, so, what the fuck, right? If I profusely hate it, I'll at least have something to write about.

Anger usually makes for an amusing entry.

I don't know, that's about all I've got for tonight. All of the today's big stuff is all kind of personal, and I don't feel like unraveling to everyone... so, I think I'm just going to sign off and watch some cartoons.

However, if you haven't seen the new Batsuit photograph, you're in for a treat. I think it looks really good, and I'm super fucking excited about it. As you can see from the photo's captions, he's actually going to be able to fully move his head and nod in this film, which is probably the biggest thing to happen to Batman since Frank Miller. With all of the great pictures and such coming out lately, I'm going to be extremely disappointed if 'The Dark Knight' is anything less than 'Citizen Kane'. I'm not too worried though, because I'm sure that I'm going to love it. (I mean, come on, anything is GOLD next to 'Batman and Robin'.)

It's funny how a few days ago, you'd have to pull my teeth out in order to get me to update-- but now, I'm looking for any excuse to do it. I blame it partially on 'Live Writer'... I can't help it, it's God damn fantastic.

I decided that I was a little harsh on the sneakers before, as it turns out, they're pretty god damn comfortable. I can deal with looking like an asshole if it means my feet won't hurt.

Fantastic Four comes out tomorrow, and I'm not seeing it. I really just don't care. Bizarre for me, I know. Marvel hasn't dished a solid movie since Spiderman 2-- and while I have high hopes for the Iron Man movie, I'm not sure that I'm going to waste my time with any of the other ones. Fantastic Four 2 looks like more of the same-- a lame plot, dull performances, and overall ridiculousness that didn't work for Ghost Rider either.

And then there's 'Dark Knight'. Oh God, I can't wait.

Firefox isn't responding. Again. Ain't that about a bitch?

Ah well, I'm going to go grab a soda from the vending machine and finish watching Mallrats... then crash for awhile. Random note: the sun comes up here at, like, three thirty in the morning, and it's blowing my mind.

Remember that testicle story I mentioned briefly the other day? Here's the article on BBC.

Seriously, what the fuck, eh?

"Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years."

Amazing. Just amazing. Oh, but, here's the best part:

"I am in no way a violent person." - Amanda Monti

Sure, honey, we believe you. That idea never crossed anyone's mind-- even when you were shoving that dude's testicle down your throat.

Ladies, please be sure to never try this at home.

As far as the title goes, if you haven't seen the Shoes video... Don't. Seriously, just keep your finger away from the link. It's truly one of the most horrifying things ever to be misinterpreted as comedy.

On that note, however, I think may have received the worst package in the history of packages. You see, Vans (the shoe) aren't built for city walking-- lest, this is what I use them for. As you can imagine, they're absolutely ripped to shreds, barely held together by some duct tape. So, a week or so back, I asked my mother if she could kindly pick me up a pair of Converse and send them up my way. She was planning on sending me up a package anyway, so, it wasn't a big deal.

So, today, the package arrives. And I'm excited, because these Vans are starting to kill my feet, and smell pretty funky. I drag it home from the post office, open the sucker up and find...

Hi, are you fucking kidding me? I mean, did I do something to this woman to deserve the most ridiculously douche bag shoe design in history? I mean, these have got to be a joke. I'll wear them when she comes up in August-- but, I swear to Christ, not a second beforehand. Then, when I get back home, something will have to accidentally destroy them. Fuck, I can't get over how ridiculous those things are.

Eh, she also sent up a DVD of some old ass Paul Newman flick I'm never going to watch, and a pair of jeans that I don't quite fit in. (...I haven't been eating very healthy.) There are a couple boxes of Hamburger Helper in there too, which I appreciate. Those'll last me a couple of days when I run out of money pretty soon.

Fuck, just look at those shoes.

So, I'm trying out "Windows Live Writer", a non-browser based client. I usually use "Scribe Fire", a firefox add-on, to write this shit... but, I've been less than happy with the way my posts have been coming out using that thing. This one is kind of nice, though. It has a really smooth interface, and everything feels pretty tight. I'm probably going to keep using this sucker to update from now on.

My computer has been acting up lately, and it's getting on my nerves. The lappy has been serving me pretty well for a over a year now, but, it's starting to get a little sluggish. I need to hook myself up with an external hard drive and move all of my music downloads... Hopefully that'll speed things up a little bit. It'll have to wait until I come back home though, as I don't have the money to blow on something like that right now. God, I wish I could get a job.

So, this past week or so has been a struggle trying to get my rent paid. They were able to take the money from my account on the first, but, it was returned because about half of my funds were put on hold by the bank when I deposited my check. When I got my lovely "Pay Up, Bitch" notice on my door, I hiked down to the bank and asked the woman at the teller if it was possible for her to take the hold off. She told me that she couldn't, because apparently I had deposited the check through the ATM. I insisted that I had done it through the branch. She just gave a "Whatever, kid" look.

Look at me, lady. I can't shave properly, let alone deposit a check through a fucking ATM.

But, she was at least able to tell me that the funds would clear on the 13th (yesterday, as of seven minutes ago)... One day after the hardcore "Give Us Your Money, Damn It" date. I didn't make too much of a big deal out of it... I figured, I'd hide out in my apartment, and avoid my landlord all of Tuesday... Then go down the next morning right when they're opening the office up-- You know, before they can file any paper work, and be like: Double you tee eff, mate?

So, the plan seemed to be working without a hitch. I woke up early, I got my ass downstairs, chilled out with a book until the office opened, and proceeded to go through with a debit transaction.

Insufficient Funds. You've got to be fucking kidding me.

So, I haul ass once more to the bank and get myself in front of the manager. I explain my situation: That the hold on my money was supposed to go through today, it hadn't, and it was urgent that the funds become available. She takes a moment to explain to me that when they say the funds will become available on the 13th... they really mean the 14th. The money doesn't go through until midnight.

...Then why the fuck don't you just say that the funds will be available on the fourteenth?

I'd like to say that I gave the bank a piece of my mind, and that they eventually caved to my sharp tongue to bowed to my every command ( and threw in a couple hundred dollars for my inconvenience)... But, really, I just looked grim and mumbled "Shit" under my breath.

That was enough for the chick to decide to help me out. She said that she couldn't make the hold disappear entirely, but, she could change it so that they only held one cent-- The rest of the funds would become available immediately. It took everything I had not to jump the counter and hug this fucking woman to death.

Luckily, my landlady is damn near the sweetest woman alive, and accepted my profuse apology with a smile.

God bless Canadian generosity.

Allison recommended "I Am The Messenger" by Mark Zusack (I think that's how you spell it) to me a few days ago... So, I went down to the library to pick it up and give it a read. I'm a little torn on how I feel about it. Zusack's writing style is really solid, and often times, very funny. He hasn't mastered minimalism, by any stretch of the imagination, but the pages generally flow pretty well.

The first chapter is pretty great-- But, it gets bogged down by some poor pacing, bad story editing (there are entire bouts of fifty pages that I would shave down to ten, or take out entirely), and increased preachyness. It's also clear that Zusack has no idea what audience he's writing for-- Seeming to direct it to older teens, while pacing the novel at the level of pre-teen reading.

I still kind of like it, though... and there's enough for me to see it through to the end. (Which is rare for me, I'm in love with both 'No Man's Land' and 'Goodbye Lemon' -- but, don't have the time to finish either of them.) It's not a 'bad' book by any stretch of the imagination... I just don't think it deserves a lot of the awards it received. I'll have this one finished this weekend-- So, if anyone has any other suggestions (easy reads are nice.. Nothing classic... or British)... I could use something to hold me over until Harry Potter comes out next month.

Speaking of, if I have the money, I think I'm just going to buy Harry Potter up here, rather than wait until I'm back home. Yes, the cover and size are completely different, and won't match the rest of the set on my bookshelf... but, I figure, if I don't pick it up right away, the end will somehow be spoiled somehow. Now matter how hard you try and avoid it, something always ends up getting spilled about the books somewhere.

...And how is it that 'Order of the Phoenix', the longest book of the series, has been adapted into the shortest movie adaptation? It doesn't bother me all that much, though. 'Azkaban' and 'Goblet' were much less literal adaptations of the book than the first two movies-- and they were fantastic. (I'm disappointed Newell didn't return as director for this one... but, I felt the same way Curan didn't return for 'Goblet', and look how that turned out.) I don't care how far they stray away from the book, as long as whatever they do makes sense for the story as a film.

That's right, I said it. Fuck you, fat chicks in robes and Gryffindor ties.

...I read a news article earlier about a chick who got into a fight with her ex-boyfriend after a party... she then proceeded to rip off his left testicle and tried to eat it. She choked on it, spit it out, and the dude's buddy handed it back to him, just like, "This is yours."

How fucked up is that? The article had me cringing and laughing simultaneously. I don't have the link right now... But, I'll see if I can find it.

All right, well, I intended for this post to just be a couple paragraphs-- But, it didn't exactly turn out that way. Consider it a "fuck you" to everyone who reminded me that I hadn't updated in awhile.

Good night.