.

As far as the title goes, if you haven't seen the Shoes video... Don't. Seriously, just keep your finger away from the link. It's truly one of the most horrifying things ever to be misinterpreted as comedy.

On that note, however, I think may have received the worst package in the history of packages. You see, Vans (the shoe) aren't built for city walking-- lest, this is what I use them for. As you can imagine, they're absolutely ripped to shreds, barely held together by some duct tape. So, a week or so back, I asked my mother if she could kindly pick me up a pair of Converse and send them up my way. She was planning on sending me up a package anyway, so, it wasn't a big deal.

So, today, the package arrives. And I'm excited, because these Vans are starting to kill my feet, and smell pretty funky. I drag it home from the post office, open the sucker up and find...

Hi, are you fucking kidding me? I mean, did I do something to this woman to deserve the most ridiculously douche bag shoe design in history? I mean, these have got to be a joke. I'll wear them when she comes up in August-- but, I swear to Christ, not a second beforehand. Then, when I get back home, something will have to accidentally destroy them. Fuck, I can't get over how ridiculous those things are.

Eh, she also sent up a DVD of some old ass Paul Newman flick I'm never going to watch, and a pair of jeans that I don't quite fit in. (...I haven't been eating very healthy.) There are a couple boxes of Hamburger Helper in there too, which I appreciate. Those'll last me a couple of days when I run out of money pretty soon.

Fuck, just look at those shoes.